another check on the bucket list

Quite a bit has happened since that last very boring post. One thing: I've decided that blogging just to blog, especially when my blog has "rarely updated" in the title, is silly. If I can't take the time to make what I'm saying make sense, or at least make it amusing, why post at all?

My attempt at humor (click to make it bigger).

Anyway, I can't believe I haven't posted about this yet, but here it is: This July, I went to a writers' retreat for my writing group. I had a goal in mind, but I had no idea if I would be able to reach it. "Shoot for the stars and you at least won't shoot yourself in the foot" was firmly in my mind.


But then something crazy happened. I killed my bad guy. I got the couple together. I wrote an epilogue. And then I wrote "The End". Well, actually it was something more like "So, yeah, basically, END", but it holds the same sentiment.

That's right. For the first time in my 22 years, I finished a novel. It's 665 pages long (a fact that made me want to add one more page of text to the first draft. . . :) ) and 165,815 words long. So, yes, I write long. But that isn't the real reason why this is the first novel I've finished (the little voice in the back of my head says: Your mom was finishing novels at 18!). My main problem with writing has always been tying my loose strings back to an end. I've said before in previous posts how I'm a discovery writer, so I'm all about not having a clue where any of this will lead. But this becomes a problem when I reach what needs to be the end, and don't know what to do about it.


I liken it to a flashlight (I'd say headlights during NaNo, which seems to be the only time I move at freeway speeds in my writing): I can see far enough ahead to avoid obvious obstacles, and to not trip over the little things, but my flashlight doesn't shine far enough to see the end of the road. It doesn't show how many twists and turns it will take before the end, or if a giant tree tipped over in the path that I'll eventually have to find a way around. It just shows the path directly before me, and that's what I have to work with.

Sometimes the flashlight will work better, and show me a whole chapter ahead. Sometimes it flickers out completely, and I have to repeatedly bang it on my knee to get it to shine again (or brainstorm). And sometimes I need to get new batteries. This can be taking a break, watching something or knitting for a while, or a change in my playlist. Or, like with this writing retreat, it can be a change of location.

I think that's what really did it for me, and I'd definitely suggest this to anyone who's struggling with a story: go to a place where your only obligation is to write. And then do it. It sounds simple, but it's incredibly effective if you approach it from the right state of mind.


I feel like I should feel different now. After all, you hear it time and time again: lots of people want to write novels, but few people actually do. I saw it through to the end, but all my brain can think of as congratulations is "well, lots of people finish crappy novels, but few go through the editing and rewriting process and polish that turd". Thanks, brain.

I'm taking a break from that novel for now (which was my last NaNo, by the way; 135k in one month, and then nearly an entire year to add another 30k--saaaad!) because I think I'm far too entrenched in it right now to properly edit and rewrite it. So I was going to work on my zombie story (titled this not because it has zombies in it, but because I've killed and resurrected it so many times since I was twelve, when I started it), but then I had a cool dream . . . and now I have yet another novel project that may or may not come to fruition. Oh well. I'm enjoying it. And in the end, I think that should be the most important factor in writing. I write because I'm driven to, because I see stories everywhere and in everyone, but also because I love to.

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Listening to: Holocaust of Giants by Rasputina--yay for Spotify!