Really. I'm not drunk. I promise.

There was just a street cleaner on my street just now. A street cleaner. On a narrow little residential street in West Jordan with cars parked up both sides as a sort of half-barricade in case we need to go all Les Mis on the mayor for some reason.

It didn't even really clean the street. It just left a wet streak down the middle like a giant motorized slug.


But anyway, about ten minutes earlier, I was fairly certain I was about to be attacked by either the zombie apocalypse or a mobilized unit of highly intelligent Utah hyenas. First there was this high whistling noise, almost like wind, but I wasn't fooled, no! I was certain it was a signal of terrible things to come. And then, I was right! The noise got louder and louder, combined with the sound of something HUGE and motorized, coming this way! I seriously almost broke my computer leaping off the sofa to go lock the door and look through the peephole.

And then I felt pretty pathetic when I saw what it actually was.

Now I just want that job. I mean, seriously, you get to drive up and down random streets all day, pretending you're in a steamroller (because steamroller > streetcleaner). You could even make T-Rex noises, because the truck is so loud that no one could hear you. It's basically what I've dreamed about doing ever since I pretended the little carrot chunks in my mixed veggies were cars for me to eat.

But anyway, this is the true scope of my pathetic-ness: When the cleaner came back for his second pass, I made a mad dash to find my camera, cracked the door open, zoomed in, and took pictures. It was like I was witnessing a murder or something. I was basically positive that if the cleaner saw me, it would rear up and try to eat me.

I get really weird when I'm left alone.

So anyway, here's my street slug.







I told google the location of the first photo was the Marianas Trench, but I don't think it believed me. And this photo just reminded me, oddly enough, that I need to do the catboxes.


P.S. The green beans were schoolbuses.

Update: Dude. There was a 4.9 magnitude Earthquake in Utah today, only a few hours after I posted this. I frickin' knew it! The zombies are coming! (My logic: earthquake = huge cracks in the ground = zombies swarming from the earth!)