direction

I really don't set much by my horoscope, but this whole thing about the signs changing has certainly set me to thinking (that and my astronomy class). I've always liked being an Aries: identifying with my inner fire, my stubbornness, my impatience. But after initially rejecting even the thought of being a Pisces (I'm no wishy washy fish; I'm a ram!) I took a better look at what the sign actually was, and the first thing I saw was "You're definitely a dreamer, Pisces". The first and foremost way that I identify myself is 'a dreamer'. So now I'm conflicted. I really do like the idea of being an Aries, a fiery redhead heroine, but I know that deep down at the center of my secret self, I'm really less aggressive than I act in public. So maybe I'm both? That makes me imagine a shape-shifting fish-ram. Anyway, it's something to consider at least. Again, not that I really place much faith in my horoscope, but they've been oddly true lately (both Pisces and Aries, actually).

internet

So I finally created a website for me that actually does the job of consolidating 'internet me' into one place. I need to add more to it, but for now it'll serve the purpose it was created for. It's probably overly dramatic, but hey, I'm in a dramatic mood right now, and that's just another part of me I guess.

starting the new year

So for a start to the new year, yesterday was both good and bad. I was actually quite productive: I finished my Alice in Wonderland ravelry swap project--which looks awesome and I'm very proud of--and made a penguin phone cozy for my mom and a rabbit phone cozy for my sister. And yet, I was still randomly depressed all day. I think that it was a good example of the fact that my moods often have little to no correlation with my actions because I actually have my sleep schedule back to normal and I had an enjoyable day, but I still felt like just curling up and crying.

But anyway, that's boring, so I'll talk about something else now. For the past few years, I've made resolutions to do all kinds of things for the new year--to write more, to be less lazy, to focus more on my studies and get better grades, to finally figure out what I want to do with my life--and every time, I fail utterly, and am depressed for most of January after the first week doesn't meet my expectations. So this year, I made no such resolutions. I would love for all of those things to happen, but those are ongoing goals, and I'm not going to try and force the change just because the year felt like changing. I need to be the one to feel like changing.

Also, I got to level 79 on my priest, and my hunter is at 83. :D

the lofty goals of manic me

So I looked it up, and I've written 47 poems this year* (49 now)**. The past two years, I wrote 196 poems each year, so this is a big step down for me. I could just accept the fact that this just wasn't a poetry year, but I like being defined as a poet, and the competitive part of me can't accept that. If anyone actually read this blog regularly (or at all), they may remember my poetry goal a few months ago, which was to write 2 poems a day for the rest of the year. I'm not good at long term goals. I'm a sprinter, not a marathoner, which is why I can do NaNo, but not WriYe.

theft of thought

I wonder, if I really was a crazy complete recluse (by which I mean without the internet; I'm already a crazy recluse) if I would have any good ideas at all? I mean, I know I would--I'm just being depressed (and depressing)--but I see things that my friends do or think of, and am utterly amazed at their creativity.