250 words a day

I really can't wait for school to be out. Not that I'm not enjoying it (well, except for that ridiculously stupid Microsoft Tech class which is required for the Computer credit of a General ED degree), but having to wake up every morning really is starting to kill me. I am a night person; I hit my creative peak at about 3 am. So when I'm lying in bed at that time, trying to sleep, and instead thinking of things I could make for my etsy shop, it isn't a good thing.

During the summer, my schedule is somewhere along the lines of sleeping until seven to ten pm, then staying up for twelve hours, and sleeping for another twelve, etc. It naturally reverts this way during the weekend too, although recently it's been more like force myself out of bed at twelve hours because I don't want to mess up my sleep schedule too desperately. Maybe it's not healthy to be able and willing to sleep for 18 hours straight, but that's just how I am I guess.

But anyway, the one thing that it's been good for is I've been getting my writing done in bed every night, using the apps I downloaded for my phone (mentioned in the last post). So here's my stats as far as this week has gone, even though it hasn't yet been a full week since I made the goal to write like this:

2/19: 627 words

2/20: 680 words

2/21: 428 words

2/22: 628 words

2/23: 416 words

2/24: 282 words

The point of showing this is that my word goal all along has been one page a day, or 250 words; most nights I've either doubled that, or gotten pretty close to doing so. Last year, when I crashed and burned at attempting WriYe, I had the goal to write 1667 words a day so I could complete about a NaNo a month.

Ha. Depression and writer's block quickly saw to that goal, and each day I didn't meet it I felt more depressed about missing it, and less apt to write--vicious cycle. But then I saw this page and was inspired. So even though I know I'm capable of crazy amounts of writing, such as 15,000 words in one day last NaNo, trying to push for even the 1000 mark when my moods are so completely unpredictable from day to day is just setting myself up for failure. So I'm shooting for that low goal at the bare minimum, and most days doing much much better. Maybe I'll switch to the 500 one at some point, but for now, with school and everything, I'm good for that low mark.

Now, I don't really know why I'm posting about this; it's been shown quite often that when I make a big commitment to something, then post it on my blog, it fails. But I'm still going strong in FAWM, with only 2 songs left to write and 3 (and a half) days to do it in. So maybe I can break the cycle, and keep to my writing goal this time.

--

Listening to: Hour like a Vega Sympathy by Danica West. Yep. My own song is stuck in my head. Kind sad. :)

LTUE and FAWM (acronym soup)

I just got back from LTUE (Life, The Universe, and Everything) and I already can't believe I have to wait an entire year before it happens again. LTUE is a magic place for creative people, especially writers, filled with support and tips, fun and friends.

direction

I really don't set much by my horoscope, but this whole thing about the signs changing has certainly set me to thinking (that and my astronomy class). I've always liked being an Aries: identifying with my inner fire, my stubbornness, my impatience. But after initially rejecting even the thought of being a Pisces (I'm no wishy washy fish; I'm a ram!) I took a better look at what the sign actually was, and the first thing I saw was "You're definitely a dreamer, Pisces". The first and foremost way that I identify myself is 'a dreamer'. So now I'm conflicted. I really do like the idea of being an Aries, a fiery redhead heroine, but I know that deep down at the center of my secret self, I'm really less aggressive than I act in public. So maybe I'm both? That makes me imagine a shape-shifting fish-ram. Anyway, it's something to consider at least. Again, not that I really place much faith in my horoscope, but they've been oddly true lately (both Pisces and Aries, actually).

internet

So I finally created a website for me that actually does the job of consolidating 'internet me' into one place. I need to add more to it, but for now it'll serve the purpose it was created for. It's probably overly dramatic, but hey, I'm in a dramatic mood right now, and that's just another part of me I guess.

starting the new year

So for a start to the new year, yesterday was both good and bad. I was actually quite productive: I finished my Alice in Wonderland ravelry swap project--which looks awesome and I'm very proud of--and made a penguin phone cozy for my mom and a rabbit phone cozy for my sister. And yet, I was still randomly depressed all day. I think that it was a good example of the fact that my moods often have little to no correlation with my actions because I actually have my sleep schedule back to normal and I had an enjoyable day, but I still felt like just curling up and crying.

But anyway, that's boring, so I'll talk about something else now. For the past few years, I've made resolutions to do all kinds of things for the new year--to write more, to be less lazy, to focus more on my studies and get better grades, to finally figure out what I want to do with my life--and every time, I fail utterly, and am depressed for most of January after the first week doesn't meet my expectations. So this year, I made no such resolutions. I would love for all of those things to happen, but those are ongoing goals, and I'm not going to try and force the change just because the year felt like changing. I need to be the one to feel like changing.

Also, I got to level 79 on my priest, and my hunter is at 83. :D